learning to take a compliment

I went to town the other day, and I was bombarded with people telling me how great I looked. WHAT?!?! That never happens. Well not like the words said to me the other day. "You look like a million bucks!", "I'm gonna take a picture of you from the back, because the backside of you looks great!" (I'll admit, I don't see that view very often, if not never) and "I didn't recognize you, you have lost a lot of weight!" I didn't know what to really say, except Thank You. Which was plenty, but I was certainly not use to going places and having so many people notice what has been going on with my weight loss. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED IT!!! It was nice to hear these wonderful words to give me an extra boost towards my goal. I know it will die down after everyone gets use to the new smaller me, but I will enjoy every single compliment I receive until that day comes. :) I went out to my surgeon and received more praise for how well I was doing. Down a total of 85lbs. in his records, but I think he started from a different starting point. My calculations have me down 82lbs, but hey I won't be nit picky!! ;) Driving back home from the appointment, I decided to try and find out the last time I weighed less than 200lbs. Well the hospital in town only has records for me that go back to 1992. I was 15 years old, and my recorded weight at the visit in March 1992 was 222lbs. So that means that I have no idea how old I was when I weighed in over 200lbs. I think it is safe to say that it was probably between the ages of 13-15, so that means I have not seen the 100's since about 1990 or 1991. That is freaking 21-22 YEARS!!!!!! I am going to have a big ol' party when I make it to that number!!!!

What's that you say???

I have been through a lot when it comes to being sick. Diabetes sucks!!! I found out that I had it when I was 20 years old. I have been to numerous doctors for my Diabetes, which then lead to other health problems....such as PCOS, High Blood Pressure, Bad Cholesterol, Sleep Apnea, Back Problems. OK, so maybe it had nothing to do completely with Diabetes, but rather my weight problem. ;) Look at me still in denial that I had a weight problem. Since having this surgery I have blogged about how I have hated the decision I made. How hard it has been to change a lifetime of bad eating habits and choices. How I have been angry and pissed off at the world. How it has begun to change and not be so bad. Well this particular blog entry is about all the good news I have been receiving from the doctors. What?!?! GOOD NEWS?!?!? Yep, I have become very pessimistic about hearing from doctors, because usually they are telling me bad news. I have never gotten news where I have had to say, "Are you serious?" and it be for a very good reason. If any of you are familiar with Diabetes the evil medical world came up with a test to tell if you were cheating and not taking care of your Diabetes like you are suppose to. I HATE that test!! It's called a Hemoglobin A1C. My A1C has been generally around the 9-10 mark(which is bad). The only times I ever had it in the normal range was during my pregnancies. The last A1C was 11.something.....which is really bad. So when they called and told me my A1C was 6.8, I said, "Are you serious???" That was with NO MEDICATIONS!!!!!! None, because I have been bad about taking it all. WOO HOO!!!! Finally, feeling like this is really going to help my Diabetes. I will always be a Diabetic, just I will be able to move to the type where I can control mine with diet and exercise. So, just to let anyone who doesn't know what that means....anything under 7.0 is considered normal. I'm just barely "normal", so I need to take a pill to bring it down a little more. I'm fine with that!! My cholesterol is good. I am sleeping better. Blood Pressure is normal. I am feeling great! It's close to my 4 month update, so I am saving my weight til then! Gotta give you something to look forward to! ;)

I think I am in mourning :(

OK....so one week has passed, I am doing OK on the diets and tolerating most things just fine. I am finding that I am obsessed with food. I am sad to think I won't be eating this and won't be eating that. I want to make all this good (bad for you) food and eat it. :( Kinda depressing to think about it. I don't want to fail, or be sick eating the thing I shouldn't, so I don't. But I am constantly thinking about all the food. I am even dreaming about food. I am not starving or even hungry....that is why I am calling it mourning. If you see me shedding tears in the next coming weeks, just be sensitive to the death of my good friend....FOOD.

I see my thumb in a whole new perspective....

I was told at this last meeting before my surgery that my stomach pouch will be roughly the size of my thumb. Yikes! It is crazy to think that my stomach will be that small, and that I will be able to live off of 2 oz. of food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plus throughout the day I have to get 64 oz. of water into my body. This will be interesting to learn how to get this all done without screwing it all up! The water thing is a pretty big deal, because I could become dehydrated quickly if I don't sip the water down during my non-eating times. I won't have the ability to "catch up" after surgery. Which basically means if someone is thirsty they can gulp down a large glass of water to catch up on their overall 64 oz a day requirement.....not me. I will not be able to gulp down anything in large quantities. That is why I have to stay on track with getting it done throughout the entire day. I can basically drink 1 oz. an hour. Then I have to stop drinking 30 min. before eating, take 20-30 min eating my 2 oz. of food, then wait another 30 min. before continuing my water drinking. Somewhere in between all this concentrating on my eating and drinking I also have to take care of my family!! ;) Plus get my exercising in. I am excited to get into the groove of it all, but I know it is going to be the biggest life altering thing for me....almost like going from having no kids to having a baby. Exciting, New, Scary all wrapped into one. See you all on the other side of surgery!!! :)

On the downhill slope and going 60

So tonight is the last "uncrazy" night in the house for me....I am off to have 3 days of hospital visits. Not all mine THANK GOD! Wes has two days and I have one...what a wuss I sound like...huh? My little guy is such a trooper and I don't know how he keeps a good attitude about all he goes through. So my diet has been a fail today with two major low blood sugar crashes and one more seeming awfully eminent. Calorie count is about 1500-1600 at the moment. Hopefully it won't be too damaging to the overall surgery. As for me...I am doing good so far. Not too freaked out about all this surgery stuff, but I haven't been to the surgery class. I have a feeling that they will give me all the scary details there which will be good. I will only have two days to panic. :) Good luck to my hubby who will be left in charge of my 3 year old. :) Don't worry...Day Care will have her most of the day, and they keep telling me that she is nothing short of an ANGEL when she is there. Thank You to my mom who is going to hold my hand and tell me everything will be OK....isn't it amazing that at the age of 35 I still need that from her. She is always good at these medical things(I am not so good at them). Alright...off to bed to try and sleep.