Post op and pregnancy

Since I have found out that I am pregnant way earlier than I should have been after having surgery (they say to wait 18 months) I have been doing pretty good. Concerns in the beginning were things such as keeping my food down and getting enough calorie intake to support the growing baby. I haven't had too many problems with vomiting since having the surgery, the only time it happens is when I eat too fast(not chewing my food) and eat too much. The baby is growing fine and so far the Doctors are happy with how I am doing. I weighed 220 when I found out I was expecting and I have gained about 2-4 lbs so far.....amazing to me! My previous pregnancies I gained anywhere from 60-70lbs.....yikes! We are excited to learn if the baby will be a boy or a girl...and I am anxious to get to the end and see if I have another big baby or if Ryann was a fluke because of all the medication I was taking! ;) Ryann weighed in at 10lbs 3oz....but my Wes was only 6lbs. I am praying that the saying each baby you have gets bigger is NOT true.....heaven help me if I have a bigger baby! Sadly I realized that when I go out to the doctor for my one year surgiversary I will be 8 months pregnant.....I don't think my before and after pics will be all that great! ;) Maybe I can have him wait to do the before and after until after I have the baby....like 6 months after! LOL

 Here is peanut....growing like crazy. :)

I'm LATE!!!!! (In more ways than one!)

OK.....I didn't get to my monthly post last month because I hadn't figured out how to make my BIG announcement. I found out that I was pregnant and so I was nervous about what was going to happen and how this surgery was going to affect the pregnancy. I hit my 5 month surgiversary and bam.....well lets just reiterate this surgery DOES affect your fertility!!!!!!! At least it really affected mine! ;) I made it to 220lbs. and now I have stayed there for about two months. I have had to go back onto my insulin, because growing a baby means I have to be really well controlled with my blood sugars. I have not had to take even close to the amounts that I use to take with my other pregnancies. So far this has been less intense than having my other kids so far. I am considered high risk for my age, my diabetes and for having this surgery not so long ago, but I haven't had to see so many different specialist this time. Sometime around the middle to end of January we will be getting a new little person to add to the chaos of our family. We are excited and about all I am praying for right now is for this baby to have stick straight hair!!!!!! ;) The OB doctor said that I might continue to lose weight but towards the end of the pregnancy I could gain. I just know I won't be gaining the standard 60 lbs. I gained with my other two. So far I have gained about 3-4 lbs. and I can live with that.

LATE, but GREAT update! ;)



When I was downloading the pics...I didn't know who this was, it took me a second to figure out that was me from behind!!

My son was taking pictures of us....sorry it is blurry :)

My family in Uintah canyon May 6, 2012

Sorry....I'm late getting to this update, but I got a very part-time job, and it is throwing my schedule into chaos. Everyone knows how much I ♥ chaos! ;) I feel like my life is getting more and more crazy, but in a good kind of way. I have TONS of energy and really feel great being able to run around and just be able to not have to worry so much about my weight and how it affected everything I did. I don't have to freak out about booths at restaurants or getting on a ride at the zoo. I can easily slid into and out of places that I once use to pass up because I didn't want to embarrass myself with the whole spectacle of doing something. I ♥ ♥ ♥ it! I love how everyone is really starting to notice, especially since I am getting down further than I ever have before. It is a whole new me, and only in 5, YES 5 MONTHS! I am down to only pills for my Diabetes. I couldn't be more happy about that! Soon, the doc thinks I can completely stop ALL medication. What will that be like??? I haven't been without medication since I was 20 years old! How would it be? I cannot even tell you how much of a burden would be lifted. Life is changing by leaps and bounds and I don't know how it will all play out, but I can tell you that just my health alone has made this complicated journey so worth it! I actually went up to the mountains and hiked around and sat by the fire. I was able to laugh and enjoy the time there. I didn't have to wonder if the chair would hold me up. It was wonderful! OK, OK so I know that after all that jargon you really just want all the stats!! ;) Thank God I am smart enough to at least put the good stuff at the bottom, so MAYBE you guys will read all the rest! LOL My weight today is: 225lb. I have lost 87lbs. in 5 months. I have 66lbs. to my goal. I am down to size 18 pants! WOW! That has been a long long time since I have been in that size. I have a lap that my daughter can sit on now. I can cross my legs. The seat belt is fitting better and more comfortably. I can turn my head to see behind me....especially in a car that is a HUGE plus!! ;) I can stand for a 12 hour shift and not think it is the end of the world. Life is getting better and better. I am thankful that I did this....was is scary ? HELL yes it was scary, but it has been the BEST thing I could have ever done. Has it sucked? YES! I won't ever lie that this has been one of the hardest things I have ever done....even harder than quitting meth or smoking!! FOOD is EVERYWHERE, and our lifestyle has linked food to everything we do!! You can never avoid the temptation, but this surgery has helped me as a tool to put my overeating into check. Do I still screw up? All the time, but I know that I can make better choices and move forward. With every victorious pound lost I cannot deny that I love those feelings more than the loss of being able to shove an oversized hamburger into my face. It was hard to give it up at first, I was so use to using food to basically make up for everything else. Now I use food more correctly....as fuel to move this body. I love that I am full after very little and I can do so many other things now that the extra weight is not literally weighing me down! I just pray everyday that I can continue to use the lessons taught to me through this whole process.

Can you say SURGIVERSARY?? ;)

4 months out of surgery, and things are getting better every step of the way. I have lost 77lbs! I started out in a size 26/28 and was worried about growing out of that size. (YIKES) I am now in a size 22, which is getting to loose. I can fit into a size XXL(20) shirt from Old Navy. It has been kinda weird to see where the weight is being lost on my body. Some places are losing it better than others, but I am not going to get too picky about the losses just yet. So this brings me to the dreaded part of the journey....yep you guessed it, the saggy baggy skin syndrome. It is pretty frightening, but totally worth being able to walk, tie my shoes, see my toes, bend over and touch the ground. I will love my extra skin buddy for all the added health benefits I am getting to FINALLY enjoy! So my goal is to get to 159 lbs. and I am getting closer every day. :) I cannot even imagine myself at 200lbs. because I have not been at this size since I was in 9-10th grade!! But trust me, I will be screaming it from the rooftops when I hit that goal! 76 lbs. to go to my goal! I am HALF way there!!! :)

Update, Update....Read all about it...

Ok....I am doing my 3 month update early, because I will probably forget to do it on the 5th. ;) I am doing better, feeling better, and getting skinnier. I have been thinking about things lately and thought I'd share a bit of back story with you all. :) I know, just what you wanted to hear, huh!! ;) In 2001, I maxed my weight out at 300lbs. At that point that was the heaviest I had ever been in my life. I have been over 200lbs. since 10th grade, but I really got crazy toward the end of my first marriage. Imagine that. ;) (depression and a bad marriage can have that affect on you!) When I decided to dump the loser and figured out that there are WAY better fish out in the sea, I dropped 80lbs in about 5-6 months. Yay me. I managed that weight for about 3-4 years, including a 60 lb. gain during my pregnancy with Wes which I lost all of it after I had him. My max weight was in 2008, when I weighed in at 357lbs(yikes) right after my delivery of Ryann. She even weighed 10lbs, but I was huge with her from all the medications I was on. After I had her, I managed to lose 127lbs. the year and a half after she was born. I was maintaining at about 235-240, until last May. I got back on all my meds and started gaining like crazy. Which brings you to this story. I started this time at 312lbs. and today I am at 248! Yep, I said it 248!!! 64 lbs BABY!!!!! I know, I know. I think to myself....so what. Look at how many times you have yo-yo'd 100lbs. before! In the past ten years I have lost my whole current body weight!!!! Actually a little more....251lbs. lost and found in a vicious cycle of medications and I won't lie overeating. I am still unable to really believe that this time will be different, but I am getting better at positive thinking and realizing that things are much different than previous times. I am actually feeling better, my physical self is responding to the changes in my body that are happening because I am not overstuffing myself with horrible foods anymore. I can't wait to tell you when I have broken my barrier of 200lbs and I start watching the scale move down to weights I have never seen before.

Dec 2011

Dec 2011

Can you tell a difference? I can. :)

Settling into my new way of thinking

At the beginning of this journey I was more than a little vocal about how unhappy I was with starting down this path of weight loss. Well, as I had predicted, I managed to make it through and change my mind. I was going through a rough period of adjustment, but I made it out the other side...alive! ;) My weight loss has slowed, but it is still coming down. I have been able to figure out when my tummy has had enough, so I don't get sick like I did a few times when I tried to push it. Life is settling down...although I have now become obsessed with sewing! I think I have replaced my stress eating with sewing! I'll post pics next time to mark my 3 month surgiversary. I am at 250 and I am really starting to feel better. When I have lost massive amounts of weight before I never felt better. Mainly because I was still having high blood sugars(300-380). So I would always be feeling the effects of my diabetes. My blood sugars are hovering around 170-200 so this time I am feeling better. Yay!

Once a Cheater....Always a Cheater! :(

Yep...that is how the old saying goes, right?? Well I have been cheating and I can tell that it has slowed my weight loss down. I have been doing great, but I just love me some little crackers and a couple of chips every once in a while. OK who am I kidding?? I have been including them into my everyday routine. So now I have gone from losing tons to only losing 4 lbs. in the past 2 weeks. I guess I had better just stick strictly to yogurt and soup for a while. I had my two month check-up with Dr. M and he said I was doing great. Of course I didn't tattle on myself about being bad....duh!! I learned not to do that at an early age in life...why stop now??? I am still struggling to get my 64+ oz. of water a day...so on the way home from SLC last night I would count 20 road reflectors and then take a drink....pathetic huh? I had to pee real bad by the time we got home, and I refuse to use the facilities at the rest stop in the middle of nowhere before Duchesne for the simple purpose that I have watched WAY too many CSI, NCIS, and Criminal Minds episodes to no better than to stop in the middle of nowhere. :) I guess my thoughts are that I will try to do better this next little while to see if I can gain some better improvement. Total weight loss is at 54lbs in 10 weeks. I'll take it. I have had many people give wonderful compliments about the change they see, which makes me feel good. I have personally noticed my neck getting thinner...LOL I want more to come off around the middle. Ugh...I am never satisfied. :) I guess it must be easier fat to burn. Just my luck....I'll have a skinny face and neck, but still look like an apple. :)

What do you want from me???

An update?   Well, fine then. I am 7 weeks out of surgery and I have hit 262lbs. 50lbs lost baby!!!! How's that for an update?? Well don't start jumping for joy just yet. I am still battling with the emotional turmoil and sometimes I feel like I am losing, but when I look at the numbers, well how can I be unhappy about that...huh! I managed to find someone I know that has had this surgery and is about 3 years out. She said it does get better and that I won't always feel this way...so there is hope for me yet! :) Life is getting better slowly, so that is good. Now I can say goodbye to two 25 lb. bags of dog food....maybe I will donate my total weight in dog food to a local animal shelter...wouldn't that be fun?? :)

Broke free

 my pic at surgery 305# after a 10 day diet. My journey starts at 312# I know in these pics you can't tell too much of a difference, but I was wearing a tent for a top and baggy pants just to stay comfortable. So hopefully in the coming months you will be able to see the transformation better. :) PLUS SIDE....I went from only being able to wear flip flops to wearing tennis shoes again!! I can put on socks again all by myself and put my shoes on!!!!! :)

I have been at a stand off with the scale. I managed to get a good lick it and break free from the 270's. I am now at 268 and back to losing....finally! Down a total of 44 lbs since surgery 5 weeks ago. Important things I learned: increased water intake, walked more, my attitude sucks, and my family is going through this too. Simply put, I have to make this a LIFESTYLE change and just do it. Like quitting smoking, I have to do this for my health and because I want to enjoy things with my family. I know it will be hard and I will want to throw the towel in...or at someone, but I decided that this is what I was WILLING to do to get healthy. No one forced me with a gun to have the surgery, and even though I may not have thought about everything that it would involve, there was a really good reason why I thought that this surgery would be the best option for me. So I guess I just need to suck it up and get to losing....and see you all on the skinny side! :)

Dogfood bag + a box of butter :)

I have the official first update on the number of pounds lost.....26! Yep...that's right 26 big pounds have dropped off my body since I started this whole process. So in my mind I compared it too a 25# bag of dog food and a box of butter. I have set my goal at 160. A "normal" healthy weight for someone of my height. If I hit this number I will not be in the overweight category on the BMI charts. So basically I have 125 pounds left to go. I think I can do it. :) Also through my internet browsing I have come across an amazing blog to help me along the way. The world according to eggface. She has great recipes and info for someone after they have weight loss surgery. Check her out!!