What's that you say???

I have been through a lot when it comes to being sick. Diabetes sucks!!! I found out that I had it when I was 20 years old. I have been to numerous doctors for my Diabetes, which then lead to other health problems....such as PCOS, High Blood Pressure, Bad Cholesterol, Sleep Apnea, Back Problems. OK, so maybe it had nothing to do completely with Diabetes, but rather my weight problem. ;) Look at me still in denial that I had a weight problem. Since having this surgery I have blogged about how I have hated the decision I made. How hard it has been to change a lifetime of bad eating habits and choices. How I have been angry and pissed off at the world. How it has begun to change and not be so bad. Well this particular blog entry is about all the good news I have been receiving from the doctors. What?!?! GOOD NEWS?!?!? Yep, I have become very pessimistic about hearing from doctors, because usually they are telling me bad news. I have never gotten news where I have had to say, "Are you serious?" and it be for a very good reason. If any of you are familiar with Diabetes the evil medical world came up with a test to tell if you were cheating and not taking care of your Diabetes like you are suppose to. I HATE that test!! It's called a Hemoglobin A1C. My A1C has been generally around the 9-10 mark(which is bad). The only times I ever had it in the normal range was during my pregnancies. The last A1C was 11.something.....which is really bad. So when they called and told me my A1C was 6.8, I said, "Are you serious???" That was with NO MEDICATIONS!!!!!! None, because I have been bad about taking it all. WOO HOO!!!! Finally, feeling like this is really going to help my Diabetes. I will always be a Diabetic, just I will be able to move to the type where I can control mine with diet and exercise. So, just to let anyone who doesn't know what that means....anything under 7.0 is considered normal. I'm just barely "normal", so I need to take a pill to bring it down a little more. I'm fine with that!! My cholesterol is good. I am sleeping better. Blood Pressure is normal. I am feeling great! It's close to my 4 month update, so I am saving my weight til then! Gotta give you something to look forward to! ;)

Update, Update....Read all about it...

Ok....I am doing my 3 month update early, because I will probably forget to do it on the 5th. ;) I am doing better, feeling better, and getting skinnier. I have been thinking about things lately and thought I'd share a bit of back story with you all. :) I know, just what you wanted to hear, huh!! ;) In 2001, I maxed my weight out at 300lbs. At that point that was the heaviest I had ever been in my life. I have been over 200lbs. since 10th grade, but I really got crazy toward the end of my first marriage. Imagine that. ;) (depression and a bad marriage can have that affect on you!) When I decided to dump the loser and figured out that there are WAY better fish out in the sea, I dropped 80lbs in about 5-6 months. Yay me. I managed that weight for about 3-4 years, including a 60 lb. gain during my pregnancy with Wes which I lost all of it after I had him. My max weight was in 2008, when I weighed in at 357lbs(yikes) right after my delivery of Ryann. She even weighed 10lbs, but I was huge with her from all the medications I was on. After I had her, I managed to lose 127lbs. the year and a half after she was born. I was maintaining at about 235-240, until last May. I got back on all my meds and started gaining like crazy. Which brings you to this story. I started this time at 312lbs. and today I am at 248! Yep, I said it 248!!! 64 lbs BABY!!!!! I know, I know. I think to myself....so what. Look at how many times you have yo-yo'd 100lbs. before! In the past ten years I have lost my whole current body weight!!!! Actually a little more....251lbs. lost and found in a vicious cycle of medications and I won't lie overeating. I am still unable to really believe that this time will be different, but I am getting better at positive thinking and realizing that things are much different than previous times. I am actually feeling better, my physical self is responding to the changes in my body that are happening because I am not overstuffing myself with horrible foods anymore. I can't wait to tell you when I have broken my barrier of 200lbs and I start watching the scale move down to weights I have never seen before.

Dec 2011

Dec 2011

Can you tell a difference? I can. :)

Settling into my new way of thinking

At the beginning of this journey I was more than a little vocal about how unhappy I was with starting down this path of weight loss. Well, as I had predicted, I managed to make it through and change my mind. I was going through a rough period of adjustment, but I made it out the other side...alive! ;) My weight loss has slowed, but it is still coming down. I have been able to figure out when my tummy has had enough, so I don't get sick like I did a few times when I tried to push it. Life is settling down...although I have now become obsessed with sewing! I think I have replaced my stress eating with sewing! I'll post pics next time to mark my 3 month surgiversary. I am at 250 and I am really starting to feel better. When I have lost massive amounts of weight before I never felt better. Mainly because I was still having high blood sugars(300-380). So I would always be feeling the effects of my diabetes. My blood sugars are hovering around 170-200 so this time I am feeling better. Yay!

Once a Cheater....Always a Cheater! :(

Yep...that is how the old saying goes, right?? Well I have been cheating and I can tell that it has slowed my weight loss down. I have been doing great, but I just love me some little crackers and a couple of chips every once in a while. OK who am I kidding?? I have been including them into my everyday routine. So now I have gone from losing tons to only losing 4 lbs. in the past 2 weeks. I guess I had better just stick strictly to yogurt and soup for a while. I had my two month check-up with Dr. M and he said I was doing great. Of course I didn't tattle on myself about being bad....duh!! I learned not to do that at an early age in life...why stop now??? I am still struggling to get my 64+ oz. of water a day...so on the way home from SLC last night I would count 20 road reflectors and then take a drink....pathetic huh? I had to pee real bad by the time we got home, and I refuse to use the facilities at the rest stop in the middle of nowhere before Duchesne for the simple purpose that I have watched WAY too many CSI, NCIS, and Criminal Minds episodes to no better than to stop in the middle of nowhere. :) I guess my thoughts are that I will try to do better this next little while to see if I can gain some better improvement. Total weight loss is at 54lbs in 10 weeks. I'll take it. I have had many people give wonderful compliments about the change they see, which makes me feel good. I have personally noticed my neck getting thinner...LOL I want more to come off around the middle. Ugh...I am never satisfied. :) I guess it must be easier fat to burn. Just my luck....I'll have a skinny face and neck, but still look like an apple. :)

Diabetic or not?

I am getting all packed up to go to a mess of Doctor appointments....between me and Wes, we have funded a few Porches for the many doctors in our lives!!!! This appointment for me will be a big one. I will be talking to my endocrinologist about whether or not I can stop my medications for my diabetes. I have been knocked down to only one shot a day (which I manage to forget more often than not) and that is a huge step from two massive shots morning and night, two maxed out doses of metformin morning and night, and one more injection, also maxed out, in the morning. Not to mention corrections during the day, which is more injections for high blood sugars. This surgery made it possible for me to see a light at the end of my diabetic tunnel of despair. I am hoping that with my weight loss and my blood sugars hovering in the 150-160 range, that I will be allowed to officially quit taking the last injection. Oddly enough, speaking of injections, my life will not be completely free of needles!! :( I have not tolerated my b-12 sublingual vitamin (YUCK), so I am now giving myself monthly injections. My first one the nurse did....let me just say...THOSE ARE NOT DIABETIC NEEDLES they are using! I am SCARED! EEEKKKK! I have 27 days to freak myself out of actually being able to do it. I'll be letting you know how this appointment goes. As for Wes, I don't even want to think about what is going to happen with him, I think that he is out to make sure a few more doctors get their porches paid for! :( Poor kid, he is such a trooper to just smile and go with the flow of it all. No matter what they tell him, he just says OK, and does it. I am praying that we can start getting the answers we need for him.

What do you want from me???

An update?   Well, fine then. I am 7 weeks out of surgery and I have hit 262lbs. 50lbs lost baby!!!! How's that for an update?? Well don't start jumping for joy just yet. I am still battling with the emotional turmoil and sometimes I feel like I am losing, but when I look at the numbers, well how can I be unhappy about that...huh! I managed to find someone I know that has had this surgery and is about 3 years out. She said it does get better and that I won't always feel this way...so there is hope for me yet! :) Life is getting better slowly, so that is good. Now I can say goodbye to two 25 lb. bags of dog food....maybe I will donate my total weight in dog food to a local animal shelter...wouldn't that be fun?? :)

Broke free

 my pic at surgery 305# after a 10 day diet. My journey starts at 312# I know in these pics you can't tell too much of a difference, but I was wearing a tent for a top and baggy pants just to stay comfortable. So hopefully in the coming months you will be able to see the transformation better. :) PLUS SIDE....I went from only being able to wear flip flops to wearing tennis shoes again!! I can put on socks again all by myself and put my shoes on!!!!! :)

I have been at a stand off with the scale. I managed to get a good lick it and break free from the 270's. I am now at 268 and back to losing....finally! Down a total of 44 lbs since surgery 5 weeks ago. Important things I learned: increased water intake, walked more, my attitude sucks, and my family is going through this too. Simply put, I have to make this a LIFESTYLE change and just do it. Like quitting smoking, I have to do this for my health and because I want to enjoy things with my family. I know it will be hard and I will want to throw the towel in...or at someone, but I decided that this is what I was WILLING to do to get healthy. No one forced me with a gun to have the surgery, and even though I may not have thought about everything that it would involve, there was a really good reason why I thought that this surgery would be the best option for me. So I guess I just need to suck it up and get to losing....and see you all on the skinny side! :)