On the downhill slope and going 60

So tonight is the last "uncrazy" night in the house for me....I am off to have 3 days of hospital visits. Not all mine THANK GOD! Wes has two days and I have one...what a wuss I sound like...huh? My little guy is such a trooper and I don't know how he keeps a good attitude about all he goes through. So my diet has been a fail today with two major low blood sugar crashes and one more seeming awfully eminent. Calorie count is about 1500-1600 at the moment. Hopefully it won't be too damaging to the overall surgery. As for me...I am doing good so far. Not too freaked out about all this surgery stuff, but I haven't been to the surgery class. I have a feeling that they will give me all the scary details there which will be good. I will only have two days to panic. :) Good luck to my hubby who will be left in charge of my 3 year old. :) Don't worry...Day Care will have her most of the day, and they keep telling me that she is nothing short of an ANGEL when she is there. Thank You to my mom who is going to hold my hand and tell me everything will be OK....isn't it amazing that at the age of 35 I still need that from her. She is always good at these medical things(I am not so good at them). Alright...off to bed to try and sleep.

Nutritional Overload!!!!

I am freaking out because I will have to be out of town for 3 days during this 1000 calorie diet. So today I have been online looking at different place's menus to find appropriate choices for my dinner options. I can still pack my shakes in a cooler, I just won't have access to a microwave for the dinner. I have been amazed at just how bad our eating habits are getting out of control. I found site after site where most meals were at 800+ calories with many toppling into the 1000+ calorie mark. Then if you add any type of appetizer(which many alone were more than 1000 calories) You are basically eating your daily requirement in one meal. I knew things were bad, but I guess I was in denial about how bad eating out really was. Imagine most times when I have been out of town before eating 3 meals in restaurants. YIKES!!!! Plus the fact that portion sizes are out of control. Now that I am having this surgery, my future at restaurants is changing and quickly. I have been thinking of how I will have to tackle this event, because I know I won't always be able to avoid it. I have thought of how I will need to order kid size meals(which are getting out of hand as well...most charting at 600 calories), or just have my husband order something and ask for an extra plate. Do they even do that?? What I will be able to eat will hardly even fit in the palm of my hand and most places give you a hubcap size plate to eat from. I guess I will become the Queen of the Doggie Bag. :) Note* Olive Garden is a calorie overload mine field and it is one of my favorite places to go. :(

What 1000 calories looks like

Well according to the instructions from the Dr. office. This is what I am suppose to eat for the next 10 days. In reality this is about 690 calories total, so I had extra calories to play with. It wasn't so bad and in total I got through the day at 1060 calories. I was able to cut my insulin in 1/2. It will be interesting to see what happens when I have to spend 3 days out of town next week. I won't have access to a microwave, so I will really have to watch what I eat when we are out. If I stick to protein and veggies then I should be OK....just have to watch the portion sizes. :) On the plus side. I haven't had any diet coke for about 1 week. That is a true Christmas Miracle!! ;) I have been known to down massive amounts of that stuff in the past, and I never thought I would ever be free of it. Addicted to it worse than METH. I have found that when I want and need something more in my life...I am amazed at what lengths I will go to achieve the results. I sometimes amaze myself. :) I am getting super excited for this new chapter to start in my life. I cannot even begin to tell you what this gift means to me. I have fooled myself for years thinking that I could do this without any medical help. I know many people who have been successful, and to them I give them all the kudos they deserve. IT is HARD! I have lost 90#, 70#, and 120# three different times in my life, but I could never keep it off when I was working hard on my Diabetes. I am hopeful that with this surgery my Diabetes will be resolved completely. Wouldn't that be the life?? No more needles, finger sticks, tests every three months, pills, lancets, test strips, meters, worrying about my kidney's, eye sight, heart, or feet. What a life it will be.

The Last Supper

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I was allowed to eat what was considered normally up to then. I was able to have Thanksgiving dinner without any restrictions. It was nice to have Thanksgiving be the turning point. I found myself really pondering what I was thankful for this past year. Even though it has been a rough year, I found so much to be thankful for. I am truly blessed in this life and even when it doesn't go my way, I cannot complain. The day was beautiful spending it with my little family. My friend's daughter stopped by and brought some key lime cheesecake, and my parents and grandma stopped by later for pie. All in all it was a nice holiday.

10 things that will change along with my weight.

10. being able to wear lace up shoes.
9. being able to wear pants without elastic waist.
8. sizing up seats wherever I go to make sure I fit.
7. seeing my feet.
6. stop having the fear of lawn chairs and maximum weight limits
5. be able to ride a roller coaster
4. be able to sit next to someone and not feel like I am taking up their space too.
3. no one will ever ask me again "when is your baby due" and I'm not pregnant.
2. my diabetes
1. MY LIFE!

Slight Change of Plans

I made it through my appointment. I found out quickly that Lapband was not the best option for my situation. I am still moving forward with surgery, but I am now having the Gastric Bypass. My diabetes will have a better chance of being resolved or greatly reduced by this procedure, instead of the Lapband. Nervous.....YES!!! Surgery is a big deal. I know that this is a great opportunity for me to regain my life and get feeling better. It is going to happen in a whirlwind. I have 18 days until I have surgery. I AM READY! :)

It all ends tonight...:)

Here I go...onto another adventure in my already extremely eventful life. I am SCARED, but excited. I have struggled for most of my life with weight gain and weight loss. I have been able to lose over 100 lbs. two different times in my life. Amazing yes!! I have not been able to successfully keep it off. So now I am faced with the fact that I cannot continue down this path. I have chosen to have gastric bypass surgery. I am going to have the Lapband procedure done. I start tomorrow with my first doctors appointment. Then I go from there. I have never been quiet about anything, so why start now...right? I am inviting you to join me on this adventure to watch me go through this whole process....the good, the bad, and the ugly....(which I will try to keep to a minimum) I want to share this out there, because in my quest to really decide if this will be the best thing for me, I found it hard to find a blog where it was all laid out on the line. So this is my attempt to do that. Wish me Luck!!