Dogfood bag + a box of butter :)

I have the official first update on the number of pounds lost.....26! Yep...that's right 26 big pounds have dropped off my body since I started this whole process. So in my mind I compared it too a 25# bag of dog food and a box of butter. I have set my goal at 160. A "normal" healthy weight for someone of my height. If I hit this number I will not be in the overweight category on the BMI charts. So basically I have 125 pounds left to go. I think I can do it. :) Also through my internet browsing I have come across an amazing blog to help me along the way. The world according to eggface. She has great recipes and info for someone after they have weight loss surgery. Check her out!!

brainwashing....

So...after all the weirdness of food shopping and cooking for my family some of my old favorites. Plus with the help of a much needed comment left on a previous post.(Thanks Jeanette!!!) I have been trying to reprogram and basically brainwash my old ways of thinking. Yes it is hard to watch my loved ones now shovel heaping amounts of food in the mouth, but it is because I see how toxic this behavior can be. I am not going to idly stand by and watch it continue. My husband likes having dinner and such when he gets home, and I am more than happy to accommodate this, but it is now going to be on my terms. We are ALL going to enjoy this new lifestyle change. :) I was being selfish before in just thinking that this was just happening to me. No, this is happening to my whole family and we all need to make the appropriate adjustments and changes to live a better life together. :) Sometimes it takes a nice reminder to put you back on track with what the whole goal and purpose behind your actions is really about. So just keep anxiously awaiting the big reveal number for my first official weigh-in at the two week check-up. After that I will do more regular weigh-ins, I am just being dramatic...LIKE ALWAYS! I will add monthly pics too...won't that be fun...haha.

I think I am in mourning :(

OK....so one week has passed, I am doing OK on the diets and tolerating most things just fine. I am finding that I am obsessed with food. I am sad to think I won't be eating this and won't be eating that. I want to make all this good (bad for you) food and eat it. :( Kinda depressing to think about it. I don't want to fail, or be sick eating the thing I shouldn't, so I don't. But I am constantly thinking about all the food. I am even dreaming about food. I am not starving or even hungry....that is why I am calling it mourning. If you see me shedding tears in the next coming weeks, just be sensitive to the death of my good friend....FOOD.

Post surgery update...

Well Monday I had surgery to rearrange my guts. It went well and I can say that I didn't feel a thing until I was suppose to. Way to go Mr. Anesthesiology! I stayed pretty calm going into surgery which for me was a real feat in itself. Everything else afterward went pretty much like it should. Water diet it the first hours after surgery, clear liquid diet the next few days. So far so good. The first bump in the road has been trying to tolerate the liquid diet. I haven't been able to move onto this phase very well yet, so I am kinda at 1/2 clear liquid 1/2 liquid. Which means I have 1 oz. of jello or broth and try 1oz. of something from the liquid diet. yogurt didn't make the list, but string cheese did OK and cottage cheese was tolerable. It feels so weird looking at my minuscule meals and think that I am full and not starving afterwards. I actually feel sickly looking at my family while they shovel much larger quantities of food in their mouths. I know that this is a temporary phase that I am going through...it is just so weird to describe. I really have had to catch myself from alienating my family by saying things like..."You're going to EAT ALL of that???" and "You haven't had enough ALREADY??" I know my life is changing drastically, but I really hope that my family survives the huge transformation in me and my eating habits. I am not stepping on a scale until my official two week check-up so you all will have to wait until then to hear the big number. :) The one down side to the surgery is my new friend....the oxygen tank, which is huffing and puffing away in the laundry room. I didn't have the best o2 saturation numbers when I left, so they sent me home with oxygen to use at night and when I lay down. But I don't think I will need it much longer. Took my first walk outside yesterday afternoon and it felt GREAT!!!!! I just walked up to my neighbors house and back, but oh it felt sooooo nice to walk outside and breathe fresh air. I am thankful for all the people who have really been helping me out during this past week. My parents helped me with the kids while Lewis was with me during the surgery. My ward family has been helping by bringing in some meals for my family to eat, I haven't even begun to deal with cooking yet. I have such sweet visiting teaching ladies who have made sure that I have been taken care of. All my friends who have called and checked up on me through FB and sent out the prayers, I really appreciate all the thoughts! So now I just keep swimming and it will all work out! :)

I see my thumb in a whole new perspective....

I was told at this last meeting before my surgery that my stomach pouch will be roughly the size of my thumb. Yikes! It is crazy to think that my stomach will be that small, and that I will be able to live off of 2 oz. of food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plus throughout the day I have to get 64 oz. of water into my body. This will be interesting to learn how to get this all done without screwing it all up! The water thing is a pretty big deal, because I could become dehydrated quickly if I don't sip the water down during my non-eating times. I won't have the ability to "catch up" after surgery. Which basically means if someone is thirsty they can gulp down a large glass of water to catch up on their overall 64 oz a day requirement.....not me. I will not be able to gulp down anything in large quantities. That is why I have to stay on track with getting it done throughout the entire day. I can basically drink 1 oz. an hour. Then I have to stop drinking 30 min. before eating, take 20-30 min eating my 2 oz. of food, then wait another 30 min. before continuing my water drinking. Somewhere in between all this concentrating on my eating and drinking I also have to take care of my family!! ;) Plus get my exercising in. I am excited to get into the groove of it all, but I know it is going to be the biggest life altering thing for me....almost like going from having no kids to having a baby. Exciting, New, Scary all wrapped into one. See you all on the other side of surgery!!! :)